Picture an orange. If we plant its seed in the soil, the seed will break the ground, grow into a tree and eventually bare fruits. This little seed has the desire and the resilience to overcome all challenges along the way. It grows and grows until it reaches its full potential and offers us delicious fruits. It is a miraculous process guided by an innate intelligence.
This is exactly how human beings are wired too. We were born with the desire to explore the world, to learn, to grow, to discover and express ourselves…and to share our unique gifts with the world. Each of us has innate wisdom to guide us. Each of us has the potential to be extraordinary. In other words, we were born with what we need and we were designed to succeed.
Then what stops all of us from being unique and extraordinary? One reason is the social pressure to conform, to follow orders, and to seek approvals instead of being our authentic self. We are often expected to perform with perfection and to feel guilty for making mistakes. We are often being compared, categorized, monitored, measured and evaluated, like machines to be engineered. This creates constant stress.
How do we bring out the extraordinary? Stop intervening and start cultivating conditions for growth. That means to give people opportunities to try, fail, learn and try again without being judged or criticized. That means making people feel safe and accepted regardless of the outcome. When people start to associate failure with the joy of learning instead of humiliation, they grow confidence to take bigger risks and to step into the unknown. That’s when the magic happens.
Whether you are a parent, a manager, a friend or a colleague, next time people around you make mistakes or fail in something, please ask yourself: how can I create a safe space for them to become that orange tree?
