A friend of mine from Europe went on a business trip to a Middle-Eastern country where he left his briefcase inside a taxi. Gone with it were his passport, wallet, three-thousand-euro cash and important documents. Two Hours after realizing this catastrophe, he calmly announced it to his local host as if he was saying: I lost my five-euro umbrella. When his host frantically searched for the taxi driver, my friend continuously blamed himself for making the mistake. In other words, he blamed himself for being human and he found it inappropriate to express his anxiety.
My friend grew up in one of the “Happiest Countries” in the world, according to esteemed publications. “Happiness” is measured by variables such as social welfare, physical freedom, corruption, health problems and household income. Ironically, this country is characterized by high suicide incidences, conformity and strict rules. People are often paralyzed by fear, judgment, rejection and loneliness. They are afraid to make mistakes and to express emotions. Apparently, statistics based happy country doesn’t necessarily produce happy people.
As we know, Maslow’s pyramid of human needs ascends in this order: Survival, Safety, Connection, Learning and Self-actualization. Happiness comes from our needs being met. In the so called “Happy Country”, people are seriously deprived of deep and authentic human connections. They feel unsafe to show venerabilities, to learn from mistakes and to accept each other as differentiated individuals.
As our living standards increase, our attention on human needs hasn’t moved beyond Survival and Safety. We arrogantly define rich countries as developed countries and the rest as developing countries based only on economical development.
Fortunately, the taxi driver returned the briefcase intact. Who are we to judge which country or individual is developed? Aren’t we all continuously developing economically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually?
