Not long ago, someone referred to me by a friend had an urgent issue. She had four job offers in three cities and two continents. They were four unrelated jobs she applied to increase her options. She needed my help to make a decision in a hurry. Soon after, another friend just finished MBA from a prestigious university asked me if she should get a doctorial degree. The reason is she did not know what she wanted to do next, plus her best friend had a Ph.D.
These two friends had an identical problem. They had not answered two essential questions in life: Who Am I? What Do I Want? Until they do, they will always have difficulty making critical and trivial decisions, because they have no guideline for decision making. In fact, if they don’t have the answer, any decision will do.
Imagine going shopping in a mall. Suppose I want a dress for attending a friend’s wedding, my purpose is clear. If I know my size, budget, the style and color that flatter me, my shopping trip will be targeted and productive. If I go shopping with no idea what I need and want, I may be distracted by every on-sale sign, buying items on impulse and coming home with purchases I regret later.
Many of us live through life without clear purpose, make decisions on impulse guided by external distractions or expectations instead of inner wisdom and self-awareness. This is the reason we often work hard but only reach a fraction of our potential. Depending on our level of self-development and circumstance, answers to these two questions change over time, however they are essential in leading a fulfilled life. Getting the answers takes time but is the shortest path.
